Jonas

Signatures

74 posts in this topic

I'm sick of topics getting hijacked everytime someone changes their signature to something noticeable or notable. Discuss signatures. Go nuts.(I expect this topic to be quite popular, but I'll pin it in the beginning at least.)

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Sweet! Well in that case, let's jump right in and tear yours to shreds.

$you != "welcome";

That is a logical assertion, it's like saying true;or false;It doesn't do anything, in fact a spammer might just look at that and mock it! Instead of stating the obvious ($you are not equal to "welcome"), $you should be assigned to something. Instead of the string "welcome", how about a constant? What it means to be welcome doesn't change, so it would make sense to have it be a constant.$you = !WELCOME;you are not welcomeNow, about this database business. While it might be amusing to think about a data store as being in someone's butt (your data is a load of crap!), certainly you're not interested in querying that data (I hope). No, what we need here is a way to efficiently interface a foot with a spammer's butt. I think that sockets are the way to go. So first we need to create a streaming socket to the spammer's butt using the popular smackdown protocol.$justice = socket_create(BUTT, SOCK_STREAM, AF_SMACKDOWN);Now we need to connect.socket_connect($justice, "//spammer/body/lower/pants/butt"); //make sure to enter the correct path to your buttAnd the final step:socket_send($justice, $my_boot, strlen($my_boot), 0x100);socket_close($justice); //justice has been doneNow, I need to work on how to slap someone across the net.

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I hate to say it, but I agree with most of justsomeguy's comments. The variant I liked best was the *

<?php if (isset($you) && $you == "spammer") { unset($you); } ?>

Simple, logical, syntactially correct, and even more catchy.I have another suggestion:

<?php $you !== "spammer" or die('by me'); ?>

or perhaps

<?php if($you == "spammer") { die('by me'); } ?>

C'mon. Tare me and my signature down :) .*Described in this post.

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I don't know, you know die just stops execution. The solution I presented above goes the extra step further of opening a Streaming Socket Connection of Justice directly to the spammer's butt, which efficiently facilitates the process of streaming our boot directly to the butt of the spammer. We could even go a step further and open the socket over a secured connection so that we can be certain that our streamed boot does not reach an unintended butt.

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We could even go a step further...
Please don't.

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Removed this comment, the grammar wasn't great. lol :?

Edited by Vytas

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I like to put things i can in my signature , just for people to notice :)But i once got insulted on my signature !!!! :):)
Insulted? By who? Why didn't you report so we could smack the offender?

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What's with all those signatures! Everyone has signatures about spammers or answering questions made with php/asp/cf. I guess it's the fad these days.

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Well he didn't post any more since that , he had just signed up for a quick chat.So he isn't at forum anymore. :)

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Well he didn't post any more since that , he had just signed up for a quick chat.So he isn't at forum anymore. :)
Ok then. Let us know in the future. That goes for everyone. We want a friendly enviroment here, and people out to insult people don't fit it with that...
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What's with all those signatures! Everyone has signatures about spammers or answering questions made with php/asp/cf. I guess it's the fad these days.
That's rich coming from you. I mean, wasn't it YOU who introduced this fashion (at least to this forum)? True, I was the first to follow your example, but you were THE first.

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:)Hmmm I guess I'll have to find something better.

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I got sick of the signature fad and just mocked you all. But, alas, the only way to do so was to jump on the bandwagon myself, so you can tear me apart too. =)

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Ah. I always wondered about that. Thanks. :)

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As my mental age is about 4 years old, my sigs have NO THOUGHT WHAT SO EVER INVOLVED :) not that thats a good thing!

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Scince no one is willing to comment and question other signatures, let me go ahead:1. smiles, what does your... um... vietnamese... part of your signature means:

Xin chào các bạn !!!CÁC BẠN VIỆT NAM ĐÂU HẾT RỒI VẬY ???
2. Choco, I'm not very knowledgeable in JavaScript and yours isn't as readable as vchris' ColdFusion one for example. What exactly does it mean? If your signature and ***, add codejunk.js to your signature?3. funkyjunky, yup. It does look like you haven't put any thought into it. That's not a bad thing, but it's not a good thing either.4. justsomeguy, who is Charles Babbage?5. Jonas, why did you removed the PHP part of your sig? Couldn't it have remained along with the York thing?

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5. Jonas, why did you removed the PHP part of your sig? Couldn't it have remained along with the York thing?
I have it saved on my home computer, so it'll be back when I am. I didn't want a lengthy signature really...

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lol I was going to say the same thing...he is the real father of the computer.
I thought the father of the computer was John Vincent Atanasoff. Babbage has only designed mathematical machines (basically, calculators) and printers, and wasn't the first one either, though as far as I can tell, his models were revolutionary for the time. He could be said the father of programming, but father of the computer- no way.P.S. See the "Honors and Distinctions" paragraph of the article to understand my reaction better.

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Heard of Charles Babbage as the father of computers.... Also guess "Alan Turing" is considered as an other father of computersEDIT: Oh just found that Alan Turing is the father of "modern" computers.....

Edited by pulpfiction

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Also, (one other hobby!) Charles Babbage was the first person come up with a way to break the vigenire cipher.See 'The Code Book' or 'The Craking Code Book' by Simon Singh for more about Babbage in the encrytion world.

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Hey guys, I dont know if it would be welcome, but I did these for another forum, and they went down pretty well, so if you want one I'll try to make you one (tho my appearing here can be quite... intermittent). :)My barcode (userID from an online game):FrostbiteXIII.gifBarcode of your username!- Up to 16 characters are encoded (easily, anyway)- Please give your Name, PlayerID and preferred colours- How I work them out:a. I find the ACSII value of each character (eg F = 70)b. Convert this to binary (70 = 01000110)c. Then make these into lines (0 is a 1-pixel-thick white line, 1 is a 1-pixel-thick black line)d. Then put all of the lines for all of the characters together!Sorry in advance if I wander off and forget! :) BobEDIT: Also, wanted to gloat about my great FrostbiteXIII ambigram sig! :)

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